Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution: Real Time talk

2 Feb

Oh hey!  It’s Rachel! 🙂  The author behind this blog.  Today I am hosting a discussion on problem solving, which is ironic because I really despise don’t like conflict.

You should also know that I am TERRIBLE with confrontation.  I will avoid it like the plague and then fumble through garbled up words (otherwise known as word vomit) and then humiliate myself beyond repair.  So there’s that.

When I get really upset I tend to shut down and then avoid talking about the “problem.”  *Gulp.*  I need your help!!!

conflict resolution

(Bahahah!!!  I just thought this was funny.  Quite the angry face, eh?!)

SO.  Today, I need your advice.  Big time.  I need to know what to do with when conflict arises and how to approach difficult situations.  Here are a few questions to jump start your advise to me 🙂  (Really, this is not just to get advice, although it kind of is, but it’s also to stimulate conversation about problem solving.  When I realized how ironic it was that I was hosting this topic, I decided not to write on it, but to ask for your suggestions regarding what to do when you really just don’t know how to handle conflict and problem situations.)

Comment below!!

Let’s talk about problem-solving. Not just solving the problem of finding a husband, but how to approach the negative parts of a relationship. Conflict arises in every kind of relationship: romantic, familial, friendly, professional. The best defense is a good offense, so what are your tips for managing conflict? Are you non-confrontational, or do you have a fiery temper? How have you worked through problems in previous (or current) relationships? Have you learned to “fight fair”? Do you have advice for avoiding or working through conflict?

Here is the link for linking up with me today:

Thanks in advance for your advice!!!

~Rachel

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5 Responses to “Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution: Real Time talk”

  1. LauraMarieForLife February 2, 2016 at 5:38 pm #

    On man, this is a good topic. I’m on the other side of this in that I don’t mind confrontation. I actually kind of like it because it forces you to get all your stuff out there and solve whatever’s going on. However, that isn’t always a good thing because I get people mad at me. Whoops.

    My reaction really depends on who the person is and what the problem is. If it’s not a big deal, I’m working on letting it go and being able to walk away…telling myself it actually doesn’t matter that much. But when it could damage people you care about or your workplace or something important, I’ve found that best policy is an honest conversation to hash it all out.

    People want to be understood, right? So if there’s a big problem, I think it’s good to say “hey, I’ve realized something is going on, let’s sit down and figure this out”. I mean, they’d have to be super rude to refuse that. This approach has led to several meetings that could have escalated quickly and become emotional. To prevent that, I say be prepared and know the point you want to make. Do NOT resort to issues of personality. Focus on behavior and what about it needs to change. BUT let the person get all their baggage out. Even if it hurts you. Even if what they’re saying about you isn’t true. Let them get it out by actively listening. It does kind of depend on if you’re the offender or the offended how that will go, but conflict takes two imperfect people. So we both usually feel wronged, right?

    These meetings, while not fun, really helped me understand the people who I was mad at. Background doesn’t excuse the behavior, but helped me be able to treat them more civilly. Being in person is also a big plus if possible. I would highly caution against trying to solve things over email and definitely never texting. Words can be so misunderstood!

    That’s my two cents. Very interested to hear what everyone has to say!

  2. Lindsay February 4, 2016 at 11:12 pm #

    I totally used to watch Xena!

    Anyway, I’ve linked up my post now, so you can just read it for my advice. To summarize: apply all your best communication skills to conflicts. Pick a good time, choose your words carefully, be willing to take a break if things get heated or emotional. And practice! Have a “tough” conversation with someone like one of your sisters, someone who will do it *and* can help you analyze your problem-solving skills afterwards. Girls are the best for that.

  3. Rfog February 7, 2016 at 12:13 am #

    Thank you Laura and Lindsay for your advice! I will definitely out your advice to the test and pray to the Holy Spirit ahead of time. One of my biggest apprehensions is making people upset or mad at me. I think I need to just get over that… with grace and patience of course 😉

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Not Alone Series: Conflict and Problem-Solving | Lindsay Loves - February 4, 2016

    […] and “fiery temper” could coexist in one person. Then I saw Rachel’s post and almost laughed out loud at her Xena meme. (I work in a cube. I try not to actually LOL. But I […]

  2. Not Alone Series: Communication and Problem-Solving | Lindsay Loves - May 17, 2016

    […] We’ve talked about conflict, but that can be avoided through solid communication. What are some of your tips for becoming a better communicator? What are some strategies for healthy communication? When was a time you were completely misunderstood or completely misunderstood someone else? How does communication affect your relationships, and how does it help you prepare for your vocation? […]

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