NAS: What is a Date? Join us for the discussion here!

22 Sep

NAS pic

Hello, and welcome back to our weekly series where we have conversations about dating, single life, and all things relationship!

This week’s topic is: Dating

Here is our discussion prompt:

What is a date? How do you define “going on a date” with a man versus “hanging out” with him or “talking” to him?

This topic was inspired by Arleen Spenceley’s recent date definition post

Do you want to hang out?” is a common way for a guy to ask a girl to get together.  The phrase is tossed around a lot, but I think it is commonly used to ask a girl on a date.  For us women, I can confidently say that the question is both exciting and confusing.  “Hanging out” begs the questions: “Does he like me?”  “Do you think he is interested in me?”  “Does he want to date me?”  “Is he pursuing me?”

I think that for a guy asking a girl to “hang out”, it’s an easy way to get to know each otherWhen a guy asks a girl on a date, he is saying, in more or less terms, “I’m interested in getting to know you and I’m willing to risk getting “no” for an answer, but I think you’re worth the risk.”

I’ve “hung out” with plenty of guys.  We talk about movies, travel, education and business.  We have a good conversation, enjoy each other’s company, but we have an “understanding” (I know, I know…) that it’s not a date.

I’ve also “dated” plenty of guys.  We talk about the same things like movies, travel, education, business, etc. etc., but there is an “understood” or discussed mutual interest in each other, and the goal is to get to know each other better in order to see if there is “something more” than “just friends” and to see if the relationship could develop into a romantic relationship eventually leading towards marriage.

It’s important to know whether you and your significant other are “just friends” or “dating” because it puts a period where there would otherwise be a question mark.

In any guy and girl relationship, it’s almost a given that either the girl or the guy will like each other more than “just friends.”  That’s when it becomes necessary, at least in my opinion, to talk about the relationship, and to see whether it really is “just friends” or if the guy and girl are mutually interested in entering into a dating relationship.

Speaking from personal experience, it’s better to have that conversation earlier than later.  It may be awkward to ask the question, or it may be easy.  Either way, it will give you the definitive “yes” or definitive “no.”  You may get hurt by asking the question, but you may get hurt even worse if you don’t ask the question.

Here’s an example: if you are spending a lot of time with a guy, and you’re not sure if he’s interested in you, but you’re spending time with him anyways……yeah.  Perhaps, and hopefully it’s not the case, that he just likes you as a friend.  Maybe he thinks your guys are just friends.  Or vice versa.  Maybe you think he and you are “just friends” but he thinks you two are dating…. *awkward*

it’s just better to talk and figure out where you both stand.

If you’re questioning the relationship and what it is, a conversation is always a good idea 😉  As Cindy says, “say it as sweetly as possible, be confident, and smile.”

I’m interested to see what your thoughts are on the topic.  Leave me some comment feedback below.  Swing by Lindsay’s to join the rest of the conversation on dating!  What is your experience with “dating” vs. “hanging out”?

Join me next Tuesday, September 28th for talk about FLIRTING!!!  Oooh la LA!

Here is the writing prompt:

Flirting is the special attention we give or receive from that special someone. Flirting is our way of showing the other person that we like them. There is verbal and non-verbal flirting, as well as appropriate vs. inappropriate flirting. What do you do or say to let your significant other/boyfriend know that you like him? What are ways that you like to be shown interest? What are the pros and cons of flirting?

Until next time!

~Rachel

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One Response to “NAS: What is a Date? Join us for the discussion here!”

  1. Lindsay September 23, 2015 at 10:19 pm #

    I love the way you wrote “ooh la la”! I can hear it in my head!

    I also love punctuation, so I adore your analogy about “just friends” with a period or with a question mark. That’s a great way to describe the difference between spending one-on-one time with a boy who is a friend versus a (potential) boyfriend.

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