Confessions Of A Perfectionist

12 Aug

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It is in the nature of my being to tend toward perfectionism.  In theory, perfectionism is sparkly, shiny and wonderful.  In practice, perfectionism is an unruly beast that snatches joy out of otherwise great moments.

“How so?” you might ask.

I’ll give you a peak into the absurdity of perfectionism:

Exhibit A: I didn’t get up at 6:15 AM to exercise because I was too tired from being up until 11:30 the night before…..because I’m a night owl by habit.  (*Queue grumbling to myself about how I need to get my act together*.)

Exhibit B: I didn’t get up in time to pack lunch, so now I have to go out to get lunch, which means that I’m not putting money towards my savings, which I’m working my tail off for.  (*Queue me getting mad at myself.)

Exhibit C: After coming home from being with friends, I think: “Did I say too much?”  “Did I laugh too hard at the corny joke?”  “Was I overly gushy about how great they look since being on their new workout regiment?”  “Geez, they probably thought I’m stupid.” (*Face palm*)

(*Laugh*) Really.  I mean REALLY.  I’m human.  And I beat myself up over this stupid, little minutia crap?  I know that a lot of this is petty, but why do I set myself up for “failure” by setting unrealistic goals????  Seriously.

I’m try to not let these seemingly little things bother me.  To me, these things are hugeAfter all, I put the bar high, and I intend to keep it high.

I mean, come on.  We would all agree that working out in the morning is energizing and healthy.  It puts a good start on the day.  So too packing lunch in order to be able to put more money into savings is awesome.  And being authentic and real with friends is great.  But for me who gets more energy in the evening and wants to stay up until the wee hours of the morning getting things done, and paying off loans, and having great friendships……I have a hard time making myself get to bed early, to get up early, to get stuff done early, blah, blah, blah.  Ya know????  It just doesn’t jive.  

Here’s to letting go, living in the moment and letting God fill the gaps.  After all, He is Perfection and He is okay with our imperfection.  *Sigh*

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One Response to “Confessions Of A Perfectionist”

  1. LauraMarieForLife August 17, 2015 at 12:35 pm #

    Oh man, I am so with you on having a hard time going to bed early and having time for ALL the things. It’s easy to beat yourself up about not doing everything you want to do, but there’s so much peace in letting go and trying to follow whatever God’s will is for the day. But I’m totally joining you in sighing. It is so hard!

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