Needing To Be Needed

2 Aug


(Photo credits are my own)

I need to be needed.  It makes me very vulnerable.

It greets me when I wake up, and kisses me goodnight when I lay down.

My heart and soul long for being needed by someone.

That I have the ability to make someone else’s day is empowering.  That I have the ability to move hearts and souls to reach for the greater things in life (virtuous living, God-centered lifestyle, serving others through charitable speech and actions, striving for the laudable career, etc.) is amazing.  One of my favorite ways to show others my love, is to serve and to share in their emotional ups and downs.  Serving others by being a listening ear, extra hands to help paint or clean a garage, a watchful eye to babysit, or to get a project done at work in a timely way – that is my way of loving others.

What I’ve realized is this: I am at the service of other people so much and in so many varied capacities, that by the end of the week, I’m spent.  And all I want is to receive a phone call, to have that friend or family member or even a stranger, ask how I’m doing, help me with projects around my house, or just be together.

It is a special feeling to receive a hug, to be told that I am beautiful, to have my hand held.  It is humbling and amazing to be told that I am enough.

I see families together, lovers sharing affectionate looks, elderly couples helping each other get around.

They need each other.  They fill each others’ needs for loving and being loved.  It’s beautiful.

I need that too.

Most of the time I avoid writing about very personal matters because more often that not, those conversations are kept between just me and God and close friends.

But this topic has been on my heart a LOT.  I need to be needed.  Not “just” by family, not “just” by friends, (I need my family and friends too, but I think you get what I mean.)  But I need to be needed by a man whom I can call “husband.”

It’s a tender topic and a fascinating one.  Adam shared the same need before he met Eve.

It is a beautiful, tender, holy, vulnerable, amazing thing.  And it is good.


9 Responses to “Needing To Be Needed”

  1. Katie Herzing August 2, 2015 at 3:05 pm #

    Thanks for writing this it is like you wrote me mind out. It’s a need that I don’t know how to fill and that’s what makes it the hardest. With you in solidarity my sister & friend.

    • Rfog August 3, 2015 at 11:50 pm #

      I’m glad we’re in this together!

      • Rfog August 4, 2015 at 12:02 am #

        You pose a good point – how to fill the need…perhaps I will blog about that topic in the future. Praying with you, Katie!

  2. Beth Anne August 2, 2015 at 3:32 pm #

    I think in todays day and age we’re taught to be independent and not be “needed” it’s hard to be vulnerable and tell others we need to be needed. I think it’s human nature to want to be needed. I can totally relate to what you have written.

    • Rfog August 3, 2015 at 11:55 pm #

      It’s definitely a catch twenty-two that we are “expected” to be independent and not be “needy.” I believe that this need in our hearts is different from “being needy” in that our hearts are intrinsically designed to need relationship with another. Truly an amazing (and simulataneously frustrating) thing. It is frustrating in that our timing is oftentimes not God’s timing, but beautiful that our hearts tell us that we need companionship.

  3. Natalie August 2, 2015 at 5:43 pm #

    I love that reminder that that need is what Adam needed in the garden of Eden

    • Rfog August 3, 2015 at 11:57 pm #

      I agree!! In college I took a class on Theology of the Body, and it’s a beautiful, humbling and awesome thing the way that women and men are designed both physically, relationally, and emotionally for one another. I could talk about this topic for hours 🙂

  4. Nikki August 3, 2015 at 8:53 am #

    This is so what I needed to read. I feel this way and have been feeling this way so often but can’t always put it into words. Thank you for giving me the words, it’s good to know I’m not alone in this

    • Rfog August 3, 2015 at 11:59 pm #

      Hi Nikki! Thanks for stopping by. This topic has been on my heart a lot lately. I think the Holy Spirit helped me put into words what my heart and mind have been thinking. We are in this together!

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