NAS: Chastity (A Choice)

4 Feb

DISCLAIMER: The links on this post are NOT meant to be clicked on.  I can’t figure out how to un-link them.  Sorry 😦

Living chastely (not just abstinence) is a choice.
Have you ever had to defend your choice to live out chastity?
If not, why do you choose chastity?

The topic of chastity vs. the lack thereof has come up in many a conversation with friends, acquaintances and, believe it or not, in conversation with strangers (!)

Most people who are inquisitive about why I live chastity are completely baffled that I would choose to live it.

Self control,  Self gratification, Everyone else is doing it, etc.  The concept is completely foreign to many people.

A few months ago during conversation with a co-worker, she asked if I was a virgin.   She was happily surprised when I affirmed I was.  (I was happily surprised that she was happily surprised 🙂 )  I explained that I want to save myself for my future spouse and that it’s a total gift of self (as describes in Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body) reserved for my husband only.

There have been times when I was belittled or felt silly for choosing chastity, but those aggravating feelings didn’t last for long

because chastity it’s a choice I happily make.

Before writing on this topic tonight, I tried to think of an analogy that would describe the chaste lifestyle.  Here’s what I came up with:

We’ve all seen the headlines that read “So and So Caught Cheating!”  The articles make a BIG DEAL out of the famous couples who are caught to be cheating.

And rightly so cause it IS A BIG DEAL.

Because one person in said relationship is cheating on the other person in the relationship.

It’s heart-breaking, heart-wrenching and shocking.

And cheating is cheating.

Cheating before marriage is the same as cheating after marriage.

Makes sense, right?

I believe that chastity refers not only to a chaste lifestyle.

I believe chastity is all-inclusive and permeates every aspect of our being.

Our thoughts, actions and words all determine living chastity.

For example, One Examination of Conscience that touches on chastity reads something like this:

“Do I dwell on impure subjects?  Do I lust?  Do I guard my thoughts? Do I talk of impure subjects?”

It’s not just the living chastity part of the equation that we need to factor in – it’s the whole psyche (pronounced: Sigh-key)

Growing up, my parents would fast-forward through movie scenes that were “adult scenes” (although they were never labeled as such) (That term is just silly because there are SO many movie scenes that NOBODY should watch.  Seriously.   I wouldn’t want my boyfriend/husband watching scenes like that.  Impure images stay in our memories forever – and guys have a harder time distracting themselves from those images . . . it’s no wonder porn is such a problem.)

Chastity is very closely related to modesty.  The two go hand.

Chastity and modesty beg the question, “What kind of image do I want to convey?”

Here’s the key: What we wear conveys who we are.

 Leah Darrow has some cool things to say about what we wear.  She touches on this in her conversion story (Former model for America’s Next Top Model)

(I got to meet Leah Darrow two years ago when she came into town to give a talk.  She’s just amazing!)

If you find yourself struggling with chastity, pray and ask God for perseverance and strength.  And remember, you’re not alone in your desire for chastity.

Your future spouse will be impressed and GRATEFUL for your gift of self.


One Response to “NAS: Chastity (A Choice)”

  1. Joan February 5, 2014 at 10:11 am #

    Great post, Rachel! I thought your cheating analogy was wonderful! And that’s so awesome you got to meet Leah Darrow! 🙂

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