Not Alone Series: Settling

29 Oct

No one would encourage you to “settle” in your relationships, but would you ever consider it?  What are your thoughts on settling in relationships in general?



This week’s topic is settling and would I settle?




Why?  Well, I know that I am worth waiting for (so many friends and family members have told me that someday a guy is going to come and win my heart, despite the days when I reeallly wonder if that will ever happen….I just need to sort out some things in my own life) and I know that at the end of the day I just wouldn’t be happy with myself if I settled.


Last year I was dating a great guy.  He and I had a lot in common.  We enjoyed spending time together and getting to know each other.  As time passed, and we got to know each other more, I realized something was missing.


This guy was Catholic, had a great job, fun personality, but it was little things that added up to big things that made me realize that he wasn’t Mr. Right.  He was more, ummmm…..golly.  How do I say it?  He didn’t do the little things that add up to big things.


Here’s an example: I am a huge sucker for thoughtfulness.  I mean, come on!  Who doesn’t like when a guy is thoughtful and focuses more on you than himself?  The guy who leaves you a note on a sticky on your fridge, or sends you snail mail cause you like letters, or sends flowers just to say “hi.”  That guy I dated didn’t do those types of things.  And at the end of the day, I realized that, yes, he had a lot going for him, but the little things were not there.  And that, to me, was huge.


I wanted so badly for our relationship to work out, and tried to convince myself that everything would work out just fine, but at the end of the day, I did not have peace.


We broke up for a while, and then got back together, and then a few months later ended up breaking up for good.  It was really hard to move on and heal from the breakup (and the healing process took a looooonggg time), but I had so much deep-down peace afterwardsUnless there is peace, No. Bueno. 


I want a guy who wants to be there with ME because he wants ME, not because any other factor or person is telling him so.  Because I am worth it.


YOU are worth waiting for.  Your future husband is out there looking for you.  Your future husband doesn’t want you to settle any more than you would want him to settle for someone else.


Just my thoughts. . . .


For more on this topic from the Not Alone Series, visit Morgan and Jen and leave them some bloggin’ love in their comments – it would make their day!




2 Responses to “Not Alone Series: Settling”

  1. Nikki October 30, 2013 at 9:59 am #

    I have done that. Know that there is just something not quite there but still try to tell myself it will all work out.

  2. Morgan November 2, 2013 at 12:01 am #

    So true! I’ve had people try to convince me before “oh, that’s just a little thing!” …and yes, if it was just ONE thing, maybe we’d work together….but sometimes those little things add up….or the same little thing adds up. Especially if it’s a big-little thing. You know what I mean?

    Like not opening your car door. Yes, it’s a little thing…but it’s a hint that he isn’t gentlemanly or chivalrous….which is a BIG thing. mmmhmmmm

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