Do you ever feel like . . .

13 Nov

I usually do not use my blog to complain, but today I am going to do just that.

Do you ever feel like you have had many accomplishment in your life, but that only YOU are grateful for these accomplishments, and even then you wonder how great they really are in the grand scheme of things?  (Running three 5K’s in one summer, spending a semester abroad, being so involved in community events (city and Catholic communities) that nearly every night of the week is booked with something)

Do you ever wonder when it’s gonna get better?   . . . . . (Even though you know it doesn’t get better, it’s just gonna be different crosses throughout life that you carry.)

Do you ever tell yourself “I am going to change myself for a better person right now and from now on I’ll be a better ‘me'”?  And then that whole aspiration just falls to pieces (cause you catch yourself falling again right after you promise to be better.)

Do you ever feel like you work SO SOO hard at your job, your family, your friends, your spiritual life, and EVERYTHING feels like a flop?!

Do you ever feel like it takes you a long time to embrace the craziness of life?  Wondering “why this or that?!?!”, even though you’ve heard countless times the purpose of life “To know, love and serve God and to be happy with Him in Heaven”  (I guess as a little girl I thought life would always be comfortable, wonderful, enjoyable and fun!)

Do you ever feel like you are making no headway with your aspirations?  Do you ever second guess, and wonder, and get discouraged, and second guess and get discouraged about God’s plan for your life, or even wonder if He really has a plan, and if He’s going to show it to you, and when?!?!?   (Yes, yes, I know that it’s not all gonna be perfect, easy peasy, hunky dory, etc. etc., but I have these aspirations and I don’t have the means (I want to quit my job and be a missionary for a couple years, I want to be a public speaker eventually, and I want to play the violin (after I get lessons.  With the money I don’t have.

Do you ever feel like your efforts don’t mean anything to the people you are trying to work with/for and that your efforts are being crushed at every turn?

If you never feel that way, count your blessings and thank you for reading my venting 🙂

PS.  I know God loves me.  I know He is in control.  I love Him very much.  I wish I understood His plan.


One Response to “Do you ever feel like . . .”

  1. Laura @ Life is Beautiful November 13, 2012 at 9:07 pm #

    Yep. Yep. Yep.

    Don’t understand His plan. Can’t see beyond today. But clinging to the cross and trusting Him for His promises.

    Love ya, girl. Thanks for being real.

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